Alright, I know straight off that some people are going to be offended by what I'm writing. That's fine. I just figured it was important to get it into the open early on.
I identify with Asian American culture.
Now, in case you haven't seen a picture of me, I'm white. I'm about as white as it gets - blonde hair, blues eyes, all that. I can't even give the explanation that I was raised abroad. Nope, my family is about as white as it gets.
So why do I say I identify with Asian American culture?
Well, I've been wrestling with that question for a few years myself. I suppose the easiest way to describe it is "comfort". It's the culture I feel most comfortable in.
Now, if anyone knows me, they probably know I lived in Japan for 3 years and I'm currently living in Seoul, Korea. My identification with Asian culture is NOT a result of living in Asia. Rather, I live in Asia BECAUSE I identify with Asian culture.
It all goes back to college when I ended up in an Asian American church. This wasn't intentional, it was just the church I felt most comfortable with. And, no, for those guessing otherwise, it was definitely not the first church I tried. In fact, it took me about a year to discover this church.
I spent the next 10 years there, mostly exploring my faith and identity, but picking up a lot of culture along the way. I wasn't especially interested in the cultural differences. I'm sure the first time I tried kimchi, I probably didn't like it much. But I have no memory of that. I don't remember when I started taking my shoes off at my own home either.
Just as I absorbed those smaller cultural differences, I learned a new set of values. My friends would complain about their parents pressuring them or describe their boredom while visiting cousins and not really being able to speak to them. I'd hear about how a family was dealing with grandma's old age (and it sure wasn't a nursing home!). I especially remember hearing how hard it was for Christian friends to have Buddhist parents, sometimes facing strong opposition. I saw friends making choices because it was good for the group/family, even if they wanted something else.
As a result, I absorbed Asian American culture and ways of thinking. Living abroad has definitely given me more appreciation for my friends' parents and where they're coming from. True Asian culture was the missing piece.
So, why am I talking about this on a blog that's supposed to be theological? Well, I want you all to know where I'm coming from. My theology is also strongly Asian American (or, if you prefer, "internationalized").
I have two distinct memories. The first happened when I first began attending my Asian church. I went to my aunt's house for the holidays, paused at the door, left my shoes on and slipped inside. My aunt's house was always warm and welcoming, the epitomy of the white American family. It felt great to really know how to act. But the second memory was a few years later. The same moment, entering my aunt's house around the holidays, suddenly felt a bit awkward. My cousins were making jokes and showing opinions that I didn't quite understand or agree with.
