An unanswered prayer

Today, my pastor's daughter was buried. She died of heart failure following 10 surgeries. She was on 24-hr dialysis for months. Many of her organs were shutting down. She was only 3 months old.

People around the world have been praying for her during her entire life. And when I say around the world... my pastor has served at churches in the US, Canada, Australia, and now here in Korea. Literally thousands of people. They prayed for her healing, her life...

Now, what happens to their faith? I sat in a crowd of 500 people as we poured out prayers for her. As her father poured out his heart before us. You could feel it: she might live! She must live! She will live! We knew it, we prayed it, we felt it, we believed it.

But now, she's buried. She didn't live.

This doesn't make me doubt my own faith. And honestly, I suspect my pastor's faith will be worked out with God, in time. But what happens to the new Christian who sat in the church, feeling that she must live? The person who saw it all, but was not a part of it? The person who just sees one more unanswered prayer?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure why God answers some prayer and not others. I'm not sure why he didn't give us a miracle. I'm not sure why he didn't proclaim his glory in a way that we can easily understand. It seems that God missed the chance to make his glory known.

I am sure of this: "Even after Jesus had done all these miraculous signs in their presence, they still would not believe in him." (Jn 12:37)

So all I can know is, that God is still God. He's God even though a baby died. He's God even though we doubt him. He's God even in the midst of parents' pain. He's God even to the uncertain faith. He is still God.

So God, take this child into your arms and thank you that she is free of pain. Now give those of us left behind the grace to mourn, to question, and to live.