Swagger Wagon Meet Country Squire

I first have to say, this video cracks me up!



Advertising is about selling a story - and their story is loud and clear: Yeah, you're a parent, but you're not.... your parents. You're cool. You're hip. They start off with the dad "rolling hard through the streets" (:30) and the mom "used to party as a college chick"  but now she's "cruising to their playdates looking all slick" (:50).

Advertising is about knowing your target audience and knowing what they really want. Then tell them that you've got it... and what they really want isn't a car - it's a lifestyle, an image.

So, I googled and found a comparison for you:



Wow, we can debate racism in the Sienna, but how does that Ford strike our modern feminist sensibilities? Notice they're only speaking to "the American man [who] is many things" (:08). Compare that to the Sienna wife who handles the money (1:26).

Also, to target their audience of the do-it-yourself breadwinner, they list the load space and engine features (:45, 1:00). Because, you know, men have to care about that stuff, even when they're looking for status at a low price.

Their story? It's about having a vehicle that is versatile - beautiful and practical (:19). But if you notice, there's a subtle message of wealth to go along with it. Just look at the names for the different wagons: the Country Squire and the Park Lane.

Anyway, back to the story being told by Toyota. They're telling it loud and clear with a whole series of videos that aren't commercials. Well, they are, they're just not paying big money to put them on TV. Another example of how times are changing - the best advertising now is viral.

Oh, so you wanted some Christian take on this. Okay: What story are we telling? Is it clear or are we confused ourselves? And also, Christians could learn something about evangelism from marketers.... know what people want / need first, and then tell them about the gospel.

Pursuing Holiness in the Minutiae

Just a few posts ago, I wrote about how the prophets are incredibly sensitive to the presence of evil and a period of time in which I felt the same. I've been praying about returning to that intimacy, but today I remember why it's so hard: It's the little things.

I've been doing a kind of spiritual cleansing - taking a week to pray through and repent of evil / sin in my life. It feels incredibly good - in the evening, after an hour of prayer and making some necessary phone calls or emails, I am surrounded by peace. But at those times, I'm intentional: I sit down, I pray for the right attitude, and I'm ready to face it all.

But it's the slap in the face that is so hard to deal with. It's the sudden and unexpected.

Situation: there's been a person that's hard to deal with. He has a good heart and means well, but we've been working together on something and he doesn't always "get" what we're supposed to do. He's got ideas - often great ones, but often beyond the scope of our project (too time-intensive or unnecessary, for example). So, sometimes he gets shot down (usually by the boss, sometimes I try to warn him that it won't fly). Anyway, I wanted to work on our relationship, so that the "shooting down of ideas" was in no way a reflection of who he is as a person. In other words, spend some time with him to develop a friendship to make our work relationship better.  I thought it was working.

Until today he sent me an angry email, criticizing me and trying to "push my buttons". Everything about the email was designed to get a response out of me. Even his word choices were purely accusatory and character-oriented (Any basic communications class / conflict discussion will tell you never to attack someone's character, but to focus on the actions and how you feel. For example, "I felt disappointed when you forgot to call me." instead of "You're so irresponsible!")

Okay, so here's the real point: I got angry. The button-pushing worked. I hit "reply" and started to (1) justify myself and (2) return with my own accusations. Well, I quickly knew that I shouldn't write a response while angry, so I stopped. But then I was just reading and re-reading the email. And getting more angry. The sort of thoughts going through my head:

You have no right to say these things!

And I was trying to be nice to you!

I don't have to work with you. I can be done with this. That's it. I'm done! I'm going to email back saying I won't work with you any more. Then see how you like it - I won't be your buffer. I don't have to take this!

Well, you get the point. And I'm sure we've all been there. I was really starting to get worked up (this all lasted about 2 minutes...)

Then I heard the smallest prompting from the Spirit. Just last night, I made promises about seeking to be holy, pursuing unity and compassion and grace and forgiveness. The memory of those promises tugged at my soul. The Spirit was telling me to stop. To let go of the anger and pray about how to build up this relationship - even apologize for the things the person criticized if needed.

But I didn't want to. And here is the crux of all of our choices - in that moment, I knew what God wanted and I knew what I felt. And they didn't line up. And because I knew that so clearly, I also knew I had a choice to make - the knowledge of the difference between God's will and mine at that moment made me eminently more responsible than if I'd sent an angry email in the first few moments. Because once you know something, you can't "un-know" it. At that moment, I knew I was wrong with certainty and clarity. Any action I take after that is nothing but clear, direct rebellion.

Still, even as that all became clear, I hesitated. Then I remembered - I loudly commanded the enemy to be silent, and put myself at the mercy of God. I knew the difference between right and wrong, but had no strength to choose the right in that moment. So I told God that he'd better take over.

He did. And now I've written this post. And in a moment, I will pray about how to respond - whether to send out an apology, an explanation, to send nothing, or to make a direct call / arrange a time to get together and talk about it. Ultimately, done with the right spirit, any of these could be the right action. Conversely, with the wrong spirit, any of them could just make it worse. That's why it comes down to guidance. And in the perspective of the prophets, it's about "Sensitivity to Evil" and "The Importance of Trivialities".

What Manner of Man is the Prophet? (Part 2)

So, continuing with the characteristics of a prophet. . .

3. Uses Luminous and Explosive Language

A prophet writes in a style both "poetic . . . [and] charged with agitation, anguish, and a spirit of nonacceptance". His words are "designed to shock rather than to edify" and his "images much not shine, they must burn." The prophet speaks out boldly and loudly to get attention to the issue, disregarding social conventions or matters of style. He's not an eloquent public speaker trying to convince the audience of his side of the issue - he stands out and condemns the wrong and call people to repent and change what's wrong in this world.

The reason he speaks with such conviction and power: "his life and soul are at stake in what he says and in what is going to happen to what he says." God holds Ezekiel responsible for delivering God's word, however unpopular it might be. God says that if Ezekiel doesn't deliver the message, the person's / nation's sin is on Ezekiel's head. But if he delivers it, their sin is on their own heads for not listening to him. That's a huge responsibility. And, as the prophet is a member of the society to which he speaks, the prophet equally shares in their fate.

"Authentic utterance derives from a moment of identification of a person [prophet] and a word [that he's delivering]... He is one not only with what he says; he is involved with his people in what his words foreshadow." The prophet cannot speak prophetically until he identifies himself with(a) the message and (b) the subject to whom he will speak. This is similar to Christ becoming human - he doesn't have the right to speak to us until he is one of us - and in so doing, he becomes the message. This isn't so strange as it may seem - a person speaks most passionately when they truly believe what they say, and even more convincingly when they've experienced what they say. In this way, the best messenger must identify himself with the message (although we must not confuse the two).

What Manner of Man is the Prophet? (Part 1)

Christians should be reading far more Jewish theologians - they have beautiful perspectives on God. Abraham J. Heschel (d. 1972) is one such academic, though a bit more of a spiritualist than anything else. I obtained a copy of his The Prophets and began reading. It's.... powerful.

Also, although he himself believed prophecy had ended, I challenge those with charismatic leanings to compare his words to your understanding of a prophet. I find that, while his perspective sounds different, it rings quite true of prophets today - of what prophets today ought to be.

I was going to simply list the characteristics of a prophet he gives in his first chapter, but instead I want to meditate upon them. So, I will present them just one or two in a post, with some reflections.

1. Sensitive to Evil

A prophet has a "breathless impatience with injustice" and "is a man who feels fiercely". This is in contrast to the rest of humanity, whose "eyes are witness to the callousness and cruelty of man, but  . . . we rarely grow indignant or overly excited". I'm reminded of an intense period of time when I was spending more than 8 hours a day in prayer, when God's voice was clear and his presence tangible. During that time, every slight sin, every cruel word from my mouth, or impatient action felt like a wall going up between me and God. The wall was so painful, that I'd immediately repent and take whatever action I could to apologize or change. Just before bed one night, I spoke sharply to someone. The wall between me and God was so intense, that I couldn't sleep. I was only able to feel at peace when I promised God that I would ask their forgiveness as soon as I awoke. Indeed, I was up before sunrise and looking for the person I needed to apologize to. What intimacy to feel the smallest prick of sin!

"Prophecy is the voice that God has lent to the silent agony" of this fallen world. This incredible sensitivity to the presence of evil is not intended to be a personal matter for the prophet - it has a social orientation. The prophet is obligated to speak out for injustice and to speak out on a large scale. That is, some today seem to feel that prophecy is just a gift for God to speak to the individual person - to speak words of encouragement or guidance. But, according to Old Testament prophets, it has a much large scope.

2. Knows the Importance of Trivialities

The ways and plight of humans are insignificant compared to God, but God chooses to be "preoccupied with man, with the concrete actualities of history rather than with the timeless issues of thought [philosophy]." The prophet is also concerned with the trivial and the details, agonizing over imperfections. The main point here is one of the contrast between the philosophic / theological and the prophetic. I think this ties in nicely with the sensitivity to evil, as a sensitivity to details and imperfections. But it's also a sensitivity to how the little things add up in life - daily choices take us on our whole life's course, and I think the prophet has the ability to see that. The prophet can look at those little things and see what they're adding up to.

Having a Book on Hand

Living in Korea means that English books are hard to come by. I mean, not impossible, but you really have to make the effort. So when I get the chance, I check out or buy books. Of course, I'm often far too ambitious and check out a dozen books... and proceed to read a chapter of each. But I've discovered something more valuable - the random used books. Whenever possible, I pick up a few used books with no intention of reading them. They're something that catches my eye, that I might browse for a bit in a book store. There's no particular category for these - some fiction is great, but even theology or history books will do. I take them home and forget about them. They don't call to me, I don't feel guilty for not getting around to them. They just sit on my shelf, hidden and forgotten.

Until the restless evening when I find myself staring at the shelf. I'm usually surprised at what I find there. I pick something up, flip through it, and then proceed to read about half of it. I usually manage to finish it in a few days. I'm discovering that this is a highly effective way to read in Korea. Strangely, I'm sure this wouldn't work for me in the US - I think I'd buy too many books, or feel "obligated" to read them because I bought them.

Of course, having access to a university library means I can usually find the books I really want as well. So, although I'm intentionally restraining my reading (I get lost in ideas easily & anti-social), it seeps into my life wherever I go. Books I'm currently reading:

• The 4-Hour Workweek (Library)


• I Give You Authority (It's too bad I never took Charles Kraft's class at Fuller....)


• The Fisherman's Lady (Recommended by a friend)


• Carpe Jugulum (I really have no idea where this came from - I'm only sure I didn't buy it!. . . probably won't finish it either)

All in all, my reading is pretty slow at the moment, thoroughly eccentric, and pleasurably entertaining.

A Two-week Challenge

It only takes about a month to gain a new habit. Seriously. And honestly, it doesn't even matter if you fail a few times (ahem, a lot) during that month. But even that month depends on the first two weeks. So really, it takes about 2 weeks to kick off a new habit (or stop one).

For example: You want to go to the gym four times a week. That's a good number, gives you some room for missing out. Or eat more vegetables. Or pray daily. Or write a journal / blog. Or not smoke.

All you have to do is: (1) make a commitment to just 1 week and (2) connect it to a "trigger" action.

(1) A week is short and definable, it's easy to see the end of it. If you "really want" to do something, you can usually use that to get through the first week.

(2) Find a realistic time to put it in your schedule. Waking up an hour early to do it probably won't work. But going to the gym after work, or praying between brushing your teeth and going to bed - those are reasonable. Smokers - a little trickier as there is a chemical addiction, but deal with the physical habit. Try chewing gum. Take a smoking break like before, take a long stick of gum, and chew it slowly, by biting off small bits. In other words, make it as similar to smoking as possible. Try to connect it to your real schedule so that something you already do will "trigger" the newest habit.

Suspending the Critic

I fired my critic a few weeks ago. She was driving me crazy! Everything I did, or everything I heard, she was picking out the faults. Of course, she was generally right. And I have to give her credit - she didn't nitpick. She usually reserved her critiques for the important things, and only pointed out one or two major flaws. She especially liked finding the flaws with logic or theology.

But a few weeks ago, she was hovering over one book I was trying to read. She wasn't saying anything, just hovering with that watchful eye in a fairly restrained manner. But still, hovering. I could sense her breathing down my neck, waiting to find a major flaw in the writing, the ideas presented, or the author's perspective.

So I fired her. I told her to get lost and never find her way back. I told her that I appreciate her caution, and that she is well-trained with a good eye and discipline. But I also told her I won't be needing her services at the moment.

The amazing thing? She left. Instantly. Didn't return stealthily or whisper negative thoughts in my ear. I haven't heard a word from her. I know that if I ever need her, she'll return at a moment's notice. And she may even creep back when I'm tired or otherwise irritable. But for now...

The spirit of criticism left.

Why aren't you?

How do you change your behavior? How do you change a whole group's behavior?  There are things you do that you shouldn't, and things you should be, but you don't. The problem is, most people start by asking the wrong questions.

I should eat healthier. Why? What are the benefits? Why is it important? Why should I?

That's the wrong question. You already know you should. Here's the right one:

Why aren't you?

Find out what's stopping you from doing what you should be doing, and take away the barriers. Like this:

I'm not eating healthier because I'm too busy to really care. Because I like the taste of junk food. Because I need my extra-calorie-laden mocha every morning. Because I really don't know how to eat healthier. Because my body's addicted to sugar or salt or fat and I don't even know it. Because I don't know how to cook. I don't like to cook. I don't like vegetables. I'm a meat-and-potato kind of person.

If you really dig down, you might be surprised what's really stopping you from doing what you should.

You should fire the unproductive employee. You should finish that project on time. You should stop smoking. You should spend more time with your kids.

So why aren't you?

The Vorpal Sword

So, Jabberwocky is nonsense. And yet, it's perfectly clear. There's a story: a father gives a warning, the son sets out, conquers the Jabberwock and brings its head home to a proud father.

On the other hand, I saw a group of people clearly know their instructions one moment, then confess they were confused about it the next. The instructions were simple and clear, but one person simply claimed they were not and suddenly the group was unable to understand simple English.

It's terrifying to realize that what a person knows one minute can be un-known simply by suggestion. This is particularly true in a group mind.

Communication has nothing to do with language. It has everything to do with willingness and desire to understand.

It has almost nothing to do with a desire to be understood.

What It Isn't

A testimony isn't preaching. Preaching isn't a theological lecture. And a lecture isn't teaching.

Too often we confuse these elements. They all have their place and time, but it's important to remember what each one does and use it effectively. To do this, you first have to know:

1. What your audience needs


2. What your audience expects (cautious with your advertising)


3. What your public speaking skills are (or your guest speaker's)


4. What God desires you to present to the audience

Then know exactly what each one does by nature:

A testimony is personal, private, and usually meant to inspire.

Preaching brings God's word to God's people.

A lecture presents academic ideas and debates.

Teaching is transformational.

A great speaker may not be appropriate for your particular event. That's okay. Either change the speaker or change the event.

Deviations in the Schedule

I'm the kind of person that freaks out when the schedule gets interrupted. People not arriving on time? What do we do?!!! We can't WAIT, because we've only got limited time as it is! Pressure. Stress. Call them all and see where they are and why they're not here and when they'll be here and how we can possibly manage to get anything done!

But I'm also spontaneous. I'll get in the car and take a random weekend trip with only an hour's notice. Or I'll call someone up for dinner at 6 pm. I'll take that schedule that rules my life and rip it up and do what I want. Unless, of course, I'm freaking out about it.

A few days ago, I disturbed the schedule. Actually, I blew it up with a stick of dynamite. I went hiking after work, barely made it to the top in time to see the sunset, then rushed down before darkness set it.

Nothing got done for the evening. I skipped my class. I didn't clean or cook dinner. I seriously messed up the routine.

It was good for my soul.

We all need more spontaneity.

The System's Broken

I have a confession. I have student debt. Significant student debt. As in, enough to buy a house in a small town.

Yes, it was my choice.

No, I don't regret it.

Here's a graph that's been floating around:



A lot of people are noticing that college is far more expensive than it used to be, and probably than it should be as well.

I don't have a solution. I'm just saying there's a problem. A lot of people are saying there's a problem.

So, how do we address this? I think we'd better figure out a theology of education, then take a look at economics, politics, sociology, even psychology.

In other words, the answer's going to take a whole lot of brilliant people in a whole lot of important fields. Well, that's also true of global warming, international relations, poverty...

The Church's role? (1)Prayer. (2) Having a theology to ground the answers we seek. If our theology says God created the world and it was good, then we have a starting place to deal with environmental issues. If our theology says that humans are made in the image of God, then we begin to address poverty.

The answers aren't easy, but first, we need to see that there's a problem.

Keep it Simple

Been watching TED Talks on my lunch break at work. This one has given me something to think about.

The point: simplicity.

The definition: something functional, reliable, cheap, and inter-connectable.

The best quote: "Perfection is finally attained not when there is no longer anything to add, but when there is no longer anything to take away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

This is all in reference to design, the Keep It Simple and Stupid (KISS) principle.

But isn't great writing equally elegant in its economy?

And our faith? A theology as simple as possible, but no simpler? (Paraphrase of Einstein)

A Cultural Frustration

I've debated whether I'm better off writing a post every day, even if it's hard, or waiting until I have something to say and the time to write it well. Considering my track record on this blog, I'd say that latter isn't working too well. So, a random reflection for the day.

Cultural frustration moment: I have a vet I go to regularly. He's a nice guy. Both him and his assistant speak English pretty well and seem to know what they're doing. The other day, I even tried an experiment - I called for an appointment! He must have saved my number, because he answered with "Hello!" It was quite cheery. I happily made a grooming appointment.

So, later I stopped by with some friends to drop off Selah. I've taken her in before and they do a god job. So it should be simple. I told him I wanted her shaved everywhere, leaving about 1 cm of hair. He was clear on it. The assistant showed me another dog as a sample, and I joked, "No, I don't want a naked dog. Just 1 cm." He clearly got it also.

Then the vet saw that one of my friends was Korean. And, while her English is good, it's no better than the vet's. But suddenly, he wouldn't speak to me. He asked her what I wanted. And she proceeded to answer! They spoke about line cuts and all sorts of other things in Korean for at least 10 minutes. My friend has never had a dog (and presumably doesn't know anything about grooming) and she never asked me what I wanted. I even walked out of the room to see my other friend. Honestly, I was very upset.

Finally, after they agreed on something that did NOT involve shaving, I said, "No, just shave her to 1 cm." As I said that, the assistant joked, "No naked dog, right?" He got it and I appreciated his easing the situation.

So, what happened here?

First, as far as the vet's concerned, he probably assumed a friend of mine spoke better English than he did. I get that, although that's just a sign of how much he under-estimates himself. Also, I get that he probably wanted her to play the role of translator, not realizing she would just answer him herself.

Second, I don't really know this friend very well, so I can't guess at what she was thinking. She seems to have mis-understood my directions about "1 cm", because I think she was convincing him I didn't want Selah shaved. Perhaps she thought "no naked dog" meant no shaving, just a trim.

Most important: Why was I so angry?

A lot of it is perspective. Now I have it; then, I didn't. That's a big part of living in another culture - recognizing that your perspectives are different. And honestly, they will always be different. So even if you don't "get" what others are thinking, the key is to understand what they think, learn to predict how they'll react, and be patient with it. After all, you're the foreigner with crazy ideas / strange reactions.

But for myself - How was I feeling that made me angry? I think it was mostly feeling de-valued / de-humanized. They spoke as if I wasn't in the room, or as if my opinion didn't matter. It was like I vanished. It was terribly rude.

But finally, a lot of it is about control. It's my dog, my appointment, and my money is paying for the haircut. So I want my say in it. I was mostly upset with the vet for asking my friend instead of me; it takes away my authority as the client in the situation.

However, I recognized my anger and tried to hold my tongue. I know the feelings still seeped through - I don't hide them that well. But, I also made an effort and let go of the anger within 20 minutes. As Ephesians says, "Be angry, but do not sin. And do not let the anger stay for long." It's nice to know that God understands our emotions welling up. We're allowed to feel angry.

Anyway, the cut turned out perfect. And Selah act light and free!

The Academic and the Supernatural

While I intended this blog as an academic exercise, I'm finding my time spent elsewhere. Yes, I've enjoyed the History of Christianity in Asia and a rather conservative commentary on Ephesians. But what I've really been reading? Charles Kraft's I Give You Authority. Demons. Spiritual warfare.

Too often people read such books with a morbid fascination, a strong dread, and a good dose of skepticism. Because, after all, we're modernists. Or early post-modernists. Or just plain human.

But that's not how I read it. I've had to dig back about 5 years and remember what I've learned before. And the truth is, his books say very little that I don't already know. I mean, I haven't articulated it all as clearly as he has, but most of what he says I know to be true from my own experience.

The world we walk in is just one facet of reality. But God has given his power that humans in this world may influence the spiritual. So often we're blind to that. Maybe we've never been shown the spiritual world, or maybe we deny it. But it's there. And the more we ignore / deny it, the more power we give to Satan.

The people I've known to be the most effective in ministry, are those that balance the two: professors, pastors, missionaries.... an academic without spiritual awareness lacks authority, and the spiritually aware, without understanding, is easily misled.

Christianity introduced to Japan

As promised, I've been reading Moffett's History of Christianity in Asia. In particular, I started with Japan. Looking into the history of a culture clarifies its present.

Francis Xavier (a fascinating figure I should like to write more about) was the first to enter Japan as a missionary in the 1500's. Yeah, over 500 years ago. Before the founding of the Lost Colony of Roanoke in the New World, a Jesuit priest was contemplating missions strategies for Japan. After his experience in India, where focusing on lower classes resulted in only local effectiveness, Xavier decided to start at the other end. In Japan, he chose to approach the ruling class, the feudal lords, the daimyo.

Personally, I would say that given Japanese culture and its attitude to authority, he couldn't have had a better approach. Japan is a very top-down, group-focused culture. If you convert the leaders, others will follow. (I'm not sure that would be as effective an approach in American culture, where we tend to be suspicious of leaders and pride ourselves on "independent" thinking.)

The mission had success. In fact, as Moffett points out, there were a higher percentage of Christians in Japan in 1600 than in 2000. But he also points out, rightly, "how little the Christian century [1500's] affected the subsequent history of Japan." (pg. 68)

It is indeed astonishing to know that a country which, for its own reasons, welcomed Christianity, was later able to stamp it out, and still remains a mysteriously closed door. I would suggest it has much to do with the nature of Japanese culture and missionaries' inability to understand and speak into the Japanese context. On the other hand, I would also suggest that when Japan does finally hear the gospel, it will be a powerful and sudden conversion.

So, Xavier departed in 1552, after just 3 yrs in the field. Think about how short 3 yrs is to introduce Christianity to even a single person and give them the knowledge and faith to face a lifetime of following Christ without a mature Christian community! Now realize he did that for an entire people. Of course, Jesus did the same for all of humanity in the same 3 years... so I supposed standards are relative. Anyway, in just 30 years (to 1581), th numbers grew from 800 to 100,000. All of that, by the way, was long before the first successful colonies in America.

So, that's where I'll leave the history of Japanese Christianity for the moment. Introduced, spreading like wildfire, but... something went wrong.

No matter how old I get . . .

There are still days where I feel and act like a child. Days where simple things leave me frustrated and in tears, where the world seems too harsh a place. Days where I run to my Father and just cry into his arms, often over spilled milk.

I'm thankful for these days. They put me in my place and remind me how great a Father I have.

Father, thank you for always being there. For holding me tight and letting me be angry. And thank you for not leaving me in that place.

Lost in Snow Country

Since this was my first winter with snow (which I actually love in small doses), a friend recommended the novel Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata. Apparently he was the first Japanese author to win a Nobel Prize for literature. I finally got my hands on a copy, so here are my thoughts:

In middle school, I felt it was time to broaden my literary horizons. So I moved from Black Beauty to Shakespeare. Specifically, The Tempest. I barely understood the plot, let alone the nuances and background stories (although I had better luck with Dickens).

That's pretty much how I feel about Kawabata. I sense a greatness throbbing beneath the plot, a genius at work in the world of words, but I'm missing it. I feel I must read it again... but that I must read other Japanese authors first so I'm better able to approach Kawabata. While reading, I am missing the cultural background, the assumptions and perspectives, and even the language of the original.

One thing I observed: The story is told in a series of snapshot moments. Spanning years, only a few days are spoken of. The passage of time is jerky, like the train that runs through the center of the novel: rushing recklessly forward, then screeching to a halt at a small rural station.

But the conversations are most elusive. I could blame the translator, but I suspect that the original is full of puns / plays on words / nuanced meaning. Having lived in Japan, I know how very sensitive Japanese culture is to words - it's all about the way you phrase something, the tone used. So the conversations in the novel leave me frustrated, almost as though they remained in Japanese... dense and impenetrable.

I have thoughts on certain devices used in the novel, but it's like a child commenting on adult lives. Sometimes insightful, but mostly ignorant. Still, I've been a master of words for such a long time, it was disorienting to feel lost. But it made me remember what used to drive me forward. It's good to be reminded of how much we don't know, to remember the thrill of discovery and the passions of youth that have mellowed with time and experience.

Found the Stacks!

I work at a top university and yet, I'm surprised to discover a library. This week, after 6 months here, I ventured into the depths, or rather heights, of the SNU library. Wonder of wonder! Books! The best part? They're about 30-50% English (at least in the fields I'm interested in).  I was most impressed to find a basic selection of theological books, so much so, that I proceeded to check out more than I can possibly read in the next month (including Tillich's Systematic Theology - since when am I interested in pure systematics? And can we all say, "Nerd!")

Well, this blog was intended to motivate me to keep up with my studies, by being more of an academic pursuit. While that's clearly not the case, I'll be doing short summaries & analyses of whatever I do manage to read.

There's not going to be any order to what I read, just the whim of fancy. I also don't promise to finish any of the books... so you may get nice summaries of the first half of a book. If I'd been doing that the past few months, there would have been a lot more posts.

The first book I'll be reading: Christianity in Asia: 1500-1900. I'll only be reading sections I'm interested in, mainly Japan & Korea, and likely China.  I'll post on those sections later. But for the moment, I'd like to introduce the author:

Samuel Moffett. If the name sounds familiar, it's because his father was one of the main missionaries to Korea and bore the same name. Moffett Sr. entered Pyongyang in 1890 as a Presbyterian missionary. He was responsible for founding the first seminary in Korea, and a great moving force in the Korea Christianity. Moffett Jr. was born in Korea, then ended up serving 25 yrs there himself. In other words, the history of Christianity in Korea is inextricably linked to the Moffett family.

After his own 25 yrs on the field, Moffett Jr. returned to the US and became a professor at Princeton. Now he's in his 90's (b. 1916). He's still working on finishing the third and final volume of his The History of Christianity in Asia. I pray he completes this task.

Some Teenage Wisdom

As a teenager, I came up with my motto for life: No regrets. Now, that's not so unique, but I went further. I named two corollaries. Or rather, two applications of this rule.

First, the past. Whatever has happened is in the past. It's over. Sure, we've got to live with it. But there's no point crying over spilled milk. You just get a rag and clean it up. Particularly in my life, this meant there was no point being angry about a screwed up childhood. Others made their choices and I have to live with it. But I'm not going to regret it.

But then this also applied to the present and future. I'm eighteen and I've got a life to live before me. Choices to make. Life choices. "I don't want to stand with the setting sun and hate myself for the things that I've done." So I won't. I'll make my choices with care and consideration. If I do this tonight, will I regret it tomorrow? Yes. Then I'm not doing it. Simple as that.*

At least, it all seemed that simple. No regrets. Move forward. Look forward. Watch where you step along the way and keep moving.

Those steps led me to God. Then there was a whole world of other mottos: Love God. Love others. Serve God. Keep the Sabbath. Meditate on the word. Ask everything of God. Be humble. Be gracious. Loving. Kind. Honest.

Frankly, I forgot about the "No regrets" rule. There were too many other things to worry about. But now, as I'm hitting 30 this year, I've been doing a lot of reflecting.

And you know what? I think "no regrets" pretty well sums up where I am in life. And I'd say that's pretty biblical.

*Yeah, I'll make some mistakes along the way, but then it falls under the first corollary.

Cleaning Traffic Cones

Saw something odd the other day: A man was cleaning the traffic cones with a high pressure water spray. In Korea, these traffic cones are permanently installed everywhere to prevent U-turns. They're thin and tall, with reflectors on top. Pretty nondescript really. As I approached, I wondered, why? I mean, I can see them, they're stopping people from U-turns, I'd say they're doing their jobs. Besides, no one walks there or touches them, and they can't really be that dirty.

Then I pulled up alongside and waited for a red light. I watched as the man moved the hose up and down in long sweeps to cover the side, then slowly walked around to get all angles. The water streaming down was black as ash, looked like he was washing away a layer of charcoal graffiti. 

Ok, so they were really dirty. They sure didn't look it all lined up together. But it was only later that night, when I was returning home, that I understood. 

See, there were two long rows, but he'd only done one side. In the dark, suddenly I could see. The washed cones were bright and clear, while the dark ones were ... dark. Sure, I could see them, but they might as well have been trees compared to the glowing reflectors of the others. 

In between the washing and the night-time observations, I heard a sermon on holiness. As Christians, we're supposed to be traffic cones. But so often, living in the dirt of this world, we get a coating of filth over us. It's not so noticeable - it builds up gradually and all of us are covered in the same soot, like the matching cones in a row. And, at some level, we're still standing out and doing our jobs. 

See, the dirty cone stands out compared to the trees and poles. But the effectiveness of the dirty cone is nothing compare to the effectiveness it could have.  The cleaned cones reflect the light more truly, more brightly. So, I guess we're supposed to pursue holiness.

Restless and content

A friend IM'ed to say she'd gotten into Harvard's MA program. An old student got into Harvard for u-grad. A seminary classmate was accepted for PhD studies in my field. All in all, it's the season for those acceptance letters to arrive.

And I miss it. There's some part of me that feels I'm missing out. But strangely, I've never felt that way before. I never really noticed the "acceptance letter" season before. I never felt left out.

This season is hitting right when I've been feeling the need to learn again. In particular, the need to be an expert in something. It sounds pretentious, perhaps. But so often, I feel out of my element even when discussing things I know. I want to delve into a subject, read the experts, know enough to have something worth saying on it.

I'm restless. I'm excited about the possibilities, I'm longing for the day when I can go on with my studies.

But I'm not anxious for it. This is a blessed time of peace and tranquility, and I'm grateful for it. My time in Korea is just that, a rest. It'll help me be prepared for whatever comes next. So, yeah, I look forward to something, but I'm content to let it come in its time, in God's time. When it does come, I'll be more than ready for it. And I think that's exactly how waiting ought to be: there are moments of yearning for what comes next, but mostly joy in the present.

What's in a ring?

Just found my class ring. These clumpy rings mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. The best years of their life. A time when they thought being on the swim team was their greatest success. For some, it's the awkward reminder of the geek in band. A first love. A petty fight. Friends and growing up.

Not mine. High school was a bleak time with a few bright spots. But mostly it was a time of tears. Not the tears of a broken teenage heart. The tears of a broken soul in the night. Tears of hopelessness and homelessness. These are the tears shed in silence. In darkness. In solitude.

But the ring... that was pure defiance. I was forbidden from purchasing it, so I got a secret job and did. It was an extreme act of self-definition, of independence. I didn't know it at the time, but the message I was trying to send was this:

"I'm not a bad kid. I want simple things. I want normal things. And I'm willing to do what it takes to get them myself, because I know no one's handing them to me. So, lay off. Back off. Keep your distance if you're not going to help me. Because I'm not a bad kid. The things I want aren't bad things. I want a class ring. I want to graduate high school. I want to go to college. So stay out of my way, because I'm doing it. With or without you."

Just a few months after this, I finally moved out of the house: A teenage run-away for all the right reasons.

Now, I know this blog is supposed to be about God. About the academics of faith. But you see, I don't come from ivory towers. I wasn't born to this life I live. I wasn't raised to this faith I profess.

I'm not the same person that bought that ring. But if I'd never been that person, I would never be who I am today. The anger and defiance, the yearning for something more - those drove me on. And that, that was God. That's my theology.

More than ten years have passed since I bought a ring. Somehow, I don't think I'll be putting it on again.

Best Sellers & Scripture

Those two words don't often go hand-in-hand: best seller & Bible. Unless, of course, someone is quoting that the Bible IS the ultimate best seller. Which it is. But I'm not.

About a year ago, I heard reference to A.J. Jacob's The Year of Living Biblically. I put it on my list of "books to read" on my iGoogle homepage. A year later, it is still the only book on the that list - not because I'm not ambitious, but because I don't iGoogle. Seriously, who needs iGoogle when Gmail does the same stuff?  Anyway, a year later, it fell into my lap (the book, of course, not iGoogle!).

Basic reflections: I could have told you exactly what would happen before I picked up this book. See, there's only 2 ways for it to end: either he becomes a believer / follower or he doesn't. And guess what? If it's on the best seller list, I can guarantee I know how it ends.

He did everything right to create a best seller: He took religion (Judaism and Christianity both) just seriously enough to engage even the ardently faithful, but irreverently enough to keep it light. He did his research thoroughly, maintaining fairness to each side of the issues. He touched upon all the key debates, without any firm commitments to any of them. In fact, he laid bare his liberal, agnostic perspective, kept an open mind, and ultimately discovered "spirituality". His words:

In a sense, they were right to worry. You can’t immerse yourself in religion for 12 months and emerge unaffected. At least I couldn’t. Put it this way: If my former self and my current self met for coffee, they’d get along okay, but they’d both probably walk out of the Starbucks shaking their heads and saying to themselves, “That guy is kinda delusional.”

But in the end, the spirituality he comes up with is nothing more than a post-modern sense of the divine. Is it true? Partially. But it misses the point completely. He admitted he learned to be thankful, that seemed to be one of his best experiences. However, even he confessed that it was thanks directed toward no one - that when he did try to direct the thanks toward some god, it felt even better / more meaningful.

I was hoping to find something useful for Christians in it, much like I Sold my Soul on eBay. But I didn't. There's no perceptive insight into Christianity. Yes, there's an outsider looking in, but he just admires, shrugs his shoulders, and turns away. We can find no reflection of ourselves in him.

What we do find is a perfect reflection of American culture today. There's a yearning for something deeper, an acceptance of "spirituality", but a turning away from religious tradition.

The results would have been the same if he'd tried Buddhism.

Unannounced Hiatus

I've been.... re-evaluating. I'd love to say its done and I have some grand conclusions, but I don't.

Working a 9-5 job is great. I have good benefits (5 wks vacation!), decent pay (no comment), great hours (literally 9-5, including lunch). It's the first time in my life I'm not worried about making ends meet and paying the bills. I even like the work and the people. In all honesty, it's exactly what I asked God for a year ago.

But with our first warm day outside, I want the freedom to go out and read a book for an hour. Or bring Selah (my dog) to the office. I miss teaching, preparing for and standing in front of a class. I miss having the right to tutor (my visa doesn't allow it) and watching individual students growing long-term.

Most of my re-evaluating has been related to finances and those now very limited free hours each day. This is where this blog comes in. Writing even a short article takes up to an hour. But the things I want to write are more in-depth. I need more coming in than going out - read more books, listen to more ideas, follow other blogs... I'd say I need at least an hour a day of bring these things in. Then, there's the processing. Time for reflection and prayer. Time to integrate it all. Only then am I prepared to write.

On the one hand, I thought blogging daily would motivate me to keep up on the intake and processing. It does. Except that I just honestly don't have time for all of that at the level I want to do it. Because, you see, there's also learning korean, involvement in various ministries... and just balancing my sanity and need for down time (especially while living in another culture and working  full-time).

So, no grand announcements. Just letting you know I'll be around, but I'm not sure how much. I'm also leaning towards keeping this academic for my own sake - I don't want to get rusty. I'll let you know if I do come to any vital decisions.

Discovering Tegu: The Next Generation in Blocks

I discovered a new toy: blocks!

When I was a kid, blocks looked something like this:



They were simple and easy to use. And. while we enjoyed them, we all knew Legos were better. In fact, as a kid, I remember think blocks were pretty boring and stupid (and not colorful and plastic).

So, why sell these boring toys? They'd been around for ages... kids played with them before plastic with all its wonderful colors was invented. Plus, they're hardy - they last a lot longer. Still. . . I was kid. They were dull.

Then, a few years ago, a lot of adult friends started purchasing... blocks! Ok, well, technically they're planks:

These are Keva planks. They look pretty awesome, right? The thing that made these different was precision. These planks are milled to be highly precise - perfect 90 degree angles, exact length and width for each one. This means they balance better. You can stack them end to end pretty high. It's impressive. A new take on an old toy.

Well, I thought that was about as innovative as plain old blocks could get. Until I discovered the newest version:

These are Tegu. Notice they're doing something blocks shouldn't be able to do? They're defying gravity! That's because they have magnets inside. Pretty awesome. They're also sold out at the moment.

So, what's the point of this evolution of blocks? It makes me think of the evolution of theology. First, we start out simple and plain. Then we add a little color, some nuances. Eventually, we refine it to a precise set. See, we couldn't do that before because we just didn't have the technology to cut it so precisely (the archeological, sociological, historical, literary advances that allow us to cut with more precision).

Now, it seems like we're learning how to put magnets in our theology. We're making it do things it never did before. It's kinda scary. And it goes against everything we think we know. It starts doing things like saying races are equal... and women can preach... and maybe homosexuals can marry. We're seeing theology developed to support things we never imagined it could.

I don't know where this takes us. Are Tegu magnetic blocks still blocks? Are they just re-defining how blocks act? How far do we have to go to lose the name "block"? Are Legos blocks? For my part, I respect what people are doing with theology. They're trying to keep the value and still make it work for our modern, media-distracted, plastic-toy loving society. Sure, sometimes we'll get it wrong. But at least we're trying.

What to do with Ephesians

Tonight, I chose the book my small group will be covering: Ephesians. With a high view of the church and a structure matching that of Colossians, this text encapsulates the whole of Pauline literature and offers a plethora of academic discussions.

Yup, it's a book we can argue about for 10 weeks easy.

But that's not really the point of a small group, is it? While the text provides a central core, a focus point, the group's life and purpose moves beyond that. For a group exists, not to answers theological and philosophical questions, but to enrich the spiritual lives of its members.

The Word of God is not meant to be studied only. It's meant to change and shape us, until the written word becomes the living word, until the living Word enters and transforms our lives. Thus, in life, the written scripture is the guiding line we follow, but is not an end in itself. For the group it must be the same: the written Scripture draws us together, gives us a focus and center point, but is meant to be lived in our group life and spread from there outward to our individual daily lives.

So, while the group may be studying Ephesians, I suspect we won't be discussing the merits of a 60's or 90's dating. I'll save those discussions for Soul Theology. But the group, we'll see if we can't learn to live it, just a little.

Pants on the ground

I'm sure everyone's seen Pants On The Ground. Everyone's seen it, laughed at it. It's the viral video of last week.

So yeah. I'm a little late writing this up. But as heard about it for the umpteenth time, it takes on new meaning when you get what Larry Platt's saying: Wear a belt!

No, actually, he was telling men to act their age. Apparently, he said he's worked too hard and sacrificed too much for the next generation to throw it all away. It reminds me of Eugene Cho's post the other day, about the difference between manliness and maturity:

"There are many men that simply need to grow up, mature, be responsible, and take their faith in Christ…to heart."

It's true all around us - but how much more do Christian men need to model that maturity? Don't we have the responsibility to speak to the culture and demonstrate what it means to be a mature adult?

Ezra's community prayer

Ezra, relocating to Jerusalem to help rebuild it, discovered something shocking. First off, Ezra himself was a bit of a nerd - "skilled in the law of Moses" (= pure academic) who sought "to do [the law]" (= faithful believer) and "to teach the statutes and ordinances in Israel" (= teacher). So, he was basically a theology professor....

So this ancient theology professor had just lead a huge group of exiles back to the land of their fathers (no small feat, considering they crossed the desert with hundreds of pounds of gold & silver without getting mugged). They arrive, they join the people already in Jerusalem, and they all worshiped.

Sounds great, sounds like a success. He managed to organize and bring the people back. Then, for reasons that escape me, some men run up to tattle on the people who are already living in the Jerusalem area. Best I can figure, these men just didn't know who else to too. They saw Ezra walking into town with quite the array, and figure he can deal with their problem. So they tell him how all these people of Israel are marrying foreigners.

Now, Ezra, the man who led a crowd through the desert guarded only by angels, did not become angry. He didn't say, "Who cares?" and he didn't storm off to yell at the people committing the sin. Instead, he mourns. He actually cries out and "sat appalled". Have you ever done that? You ever sit appalled? Over your own sins? How about over someone else's? I don't think I have - maybe over someone's pain, but never their sins.

Alright, all this was to get to the point: After sitting appalled all day, he prayed, "O my God! I am too ashamed and embarrassed to lift my face to you. My God!! Our iniquities have risen higher than our heads. And our guilt has mounted up to the heavens!!" (9:6)

"Our iniquities" and "our guilt". He's not married to a foreign woman. But he accepts responsibility for the guilt of his people. He prays on their behalf from within the community. Oh, that we could learn to do the same! How would things looks if we identified with our communities in this same way? And no, I don't just mean our churches.

An Afternoon with Jesus

I walk in and focus on an image, his hand. As I looked, I realized he was soothing a fresh piece of wood. I looked up and saw his face, smiling, glad I had joined him. It was the first time I've found him as a carpenter, and it shocked me.

He showed me the long piece of wood, with the intricate grain. And he spoke, "Feel the wood, it is smooth and soft and warm. It feels alive beneath your hand. Remember the ancient wooden steps in the castle you visited? How worn and smooth they were, until they glowed? Remember how they felt under your feet, knowing that thousands of feet had trodden the same steps? That someone had taken great care to smooth and place them? Wood only gets better with age, if it's taken care of."

"What is this particular piece going to be used for?" I asked.

"This will be a beam in a house. See, our houses need long cross beams to support the roof, they are only visible from the inside."

"But why are you smoothing it with so much care? No one will ever touch it. It's simply support, half hidden in the mud roof."

"I always take great care, in everything I do. It's the attention to detail - making perfect details, that makes the whole perfect."

"But why do you spend so much time on your carpentry? Don't you ever feel like you're meant for something more? Like you have a mission to fulfill? Can you be content in this?" I asked, knowing full well that we both knew what his mission was.

With a caress that betrayed his love of the wood, and an intense light in his eyes, he responded, "If I didn't take time with this, how could you trust that I'd take time with you, with anyone? What I do here reflects my character. See, just as I smooth out the wood, I find the grain and work with it, not against it, I sand and polish, even so I work with people. I carve them, smooth them, polish them, working always with the grain to bring out the greatest beauty. If I didn't take the time here, how could you trust me to take the time with people? And what, should I do it for a chair and not for the roof beam, simply because no one will ever touch it? What then, should I take the time with a pastor or prominent teacher, but not with the least and the lost, with the servants, the supports? How then should I draw the line? Who is to say which beam deserves or requires my utmost attention? Do I not say that each piece, however small, is worth it? No, if I didn't take the time, and have a love for my work here, I'd never be ready for my "mission" as you call it."

I smile, satisfied. With eyes closed, I too caress the warm wood, feeling the soothing silkiness.

February: Faith, hope, and love

Woot! Got to celebrate - today marks the beginning of Soul Theology's second month. Sure, I had a one week lapse, but I made it and feel like I'm beginning to get an idea where this is headed. It's not much, but celebrating the little milestones is an excellent motivator.

I recently read Ellen Charry's article found in Essentials of Christian Theology, compiled by Placher.

This short article explicates a model of Christian living from the book of 1 Corinthians. “Christianity is more than a set of beliefs and more than a set of practices. It is a window on the world that comes from beyond the world and reaches beyond the world as we know it. Christianity cannot be understood or lived out apart from a community” (264).

She talks about the “wisdom of the cross” as standing over and against earthly wisdom. Also, the “mind of Christ” is living for God and others. Then she goes on to the details of “sex, idolatry, and table manners”. Finally, love and spiritual gifts.

After this, she summarizes reasons we have a hard time truly trusting God: it is unnatural, an enormous undertaking, and others may laugh at us. She succinctly summarizes, “Christians . . . live from faith rather than fear, hope rather than despair, love rather than ambition.” (280)

I think her concluding sentence reveals an excellent exposition on “faith, hope and love”. Somehow, by viewing the entire book in light of that phrase, she discovers what that faith, hope, and love stand in opposition to: worldly values and wisdom. May we all live without fear, despair, and ambition.

The Need for Other Voices

Today I watched part of a training video from a large,  successful and well-known church. Because I respect the church and the training material they produced, I will not name them in this post. Before watching the video, I'd read a book written by the same author and mostly respected the book. When I saw the video, I was shocked.

Now, before I tell you what shocked me, you need a little background. I'm white. But I've been in an Asian-American sub-culture my entire adult life. So, I'm sure I'm about to offend some people. In fact, if I heard another white person say this, I'd be offended. But here it is: I'm Asian. Well, Asian-American: in my thinking, at least.

So, here's what shocked me about the video:

It was a group of middle aged white men. They were American. They included pastors, authors, etc. They were trying to act casual in the video, while still teaching.

The one overwhelming feeling I had, was a sense of "other". They seemed so very foreign. Remember, I was also watching this in Korea, in a room filled with Koreans, Westernized Koreans, and Westerners living in Korea. In other words, a very Asian setting. Furthermore, we were mostly young / single.

I looked at these white men and I thought, "What can they know of us?" Most of what they taught was solid and truly applicable to any group. But a few "americanisms" slipped in - cultural assumptions, attitudes, and suggestions that betrayed how very much they are entrenched in white culture. I could just imagine them with a beer in their hands discussing sports instead of church matters, which made it terribly difficult to focus on the good, true things they did say.

Suddenly, I experienced what I'd only heard of - the need for minority leaders / voices / etc. I was recently reading some Asian-American reactions to TV actors, and the repeated lament of not connecting to them or of being mis-represented. Since I have never been much for pop culture, I didn't understand the complaint. But today I did - I couldn't listen to the message because of the messengers.

So... we need great Asian-American leaders in the Church. And great female leaders. And great Latino, African-American, and NON-American! Until we see people in leadership and authority who look like us, sound like us, and think like us, we'll have a hard time really supporting them and following them, mainly because it's hard to believe they understand us or really know how to speak to us.

My prayer, then, is for God to raise up a new generation of leaders in the Church. A generation of cultural and racial diversity which can speak to the whole Body.

The Guilty Dog

Coming home after a dinner out, my dog met me at the door cowering. She had her tail tucked between her legs, her head low to the ground, and a quiver ran through her. I knew she'd done something wrong even though I couldn't see it.

I walked in and found she'd jumped up on the counter to tear into a loaf of bread. That's it. Yes, it's wrong. It happened once before and she got into a lot of trouble. I even thought I had made it impossible by taking the chair away that she jumped up on.

I picked up the loaf, held it towards her and said, "No. That's bad. No." I didn't yell. Honestly, I was a little exasperated that my fresh loaf of high quality bread was destroyed, but I wasn't angry. If anything, I was just thinking about how I could train her. I don't want to just lock it up - I want her to be properly trained to not steal food. I want to be able to trust her.

She felt so guilty. She cowered under a chair. I didn't yell or spank, I just cleaned up the mess. Then I pulled out the computer. Twenty minutes later I realized she was still cowering. I called out "Come!" and she was so very happy.  Then, I knew.

I knew that this was so like us with God. We know we're wrong. We do it anyway. God tells us we're wrong and picks up after us. He chooses how to teach us. He wants to be able to trust us to obey. We cower in fear, hiding ourselves or our sins, until he calls out to forgive us and reassure us. When he does, we're ecstatic.

This is daily theology: seeing the truths of the Bible manifest in normal daily events.

Memorable sermons

If you go to church, you end up hearing a lot of sermons over the years. And, the truth is, they pretty much are forgotten Monday morning. That doesn't mean they're bad, although I have heard a lot of bad preaching over the years. Let's face it, you just can't hear 52 memorable sermons a year - you wouldn't remember them all!

But there are a few... a few that stay with you. A few that have a core idea that gnaws at you, or a phrase that haunts you, or a beauty that transforms you.  These are the memorable ones, the ones that you can quote years later.

For me, one of the key elements of a memorable sermons is the maxim or epigram that encompasses the main idea. Now, when I was taught homilectics (preaching), I was told that the phrase ought to be from scripture. I suppose that's a good rule of thumb, but the phrases I recall most are not from scripture. I believe that's because scripture is so familiar, that using a phrase from it doesn't stand out in my memory long term.

One of my most memorable sermons was entitled, "First, you pray." And that was the point. The speaker, whose name I unfortunately forget, had raised the dead. People would ask him how he resurrected someone. His answer, "First, you pray." When people ask what you do next, his answer was, "First, you pray." The point of the sermon was that (a) you do nothing without prayer and (b) whatever God tells you to do in that prayer, you obey. So, first you pray. That's the only answer to anything.

And you know what? To this day, almost 10 yrs later, I remember it. In preparation for starting up a small group, I sat down to thinking through what I needed to do. I have one week to choose my material, time, location, plan the meeting, etc. One week in which I'm already very busy. So, I sat to write. Suddenly, the words "first you pray" came to my mind. I said, "Yes, of course! First I need to pray for the group members. That's most important." I wrote that down at the top of my to-do list. Then I wrote the number 2 and waited. I was reminded, "First you pray". Yeah, thanks God, I got that already. "No. . . you didn't. You're not praying. First, you pray!"

Right. "First you pray" doesn't mean listing prayer on a to-do list. It means praying. So, I put the list away and prayed instead. The list never did come out again, although it might later. After I pray.

The point is, a memorable sermon does precisely that. It actually changes our actions long term. It's transformative. It's a seed that grows. It'll only grow if its true, if it's perceptive/witty, and if its broadly applicable. How do you write /  prepare a memorable sermon? First, you pray.

To the person with whom I had lunch yesterday...

You have incredible vision. I may not always say it, but I deeply respect that. You see the hand of God in everything. You overflow with joy at the work of the Spirit. You attribute to God all good things, praising him with your words. Your gratitude is a greater testimony than you know. Your enthusiasm inflames embers in my own heart.

I don't know where God's going to take you, or how, or to what extent. I don't know if you'll transform the shape of the church, serve long term missions abroad, or simply live the faithful life. I do know that you'll walk paths unexpected and follow roads undesired. I know you'll be disappointed, hurt, and gloriously surprise.

So here, then, is my prayer for you:

May you walk with the Lord all the days of your life. May your faith and understanding grow ever deeper, even as you experience the out-flung reaches of the Kingdom. May you impact lives, whether through the church or personal interaction. Encourage, sustain, but also be encouraged and sustained. Learn to sense both your limits and strengths, to embrace them, and know that God's power and glory are revealed in them.

Finally, I pray that you can take all that God has shown and given you, take all your passions and desires, and synthesize one succinct calling for your life. I pray that you do this sooner, rather than later. That God reveal to you the one mission to which you can give your life, knowing that all these things play into that one principle. You're looking for your calling; I pray you find it. Many people miss it completely or stumble into it. But for you, I pray that God reveals it in the next month. Seek it, pray for it, and I know you will walk away from this experience with firm certainty. You're going to need that where you're going.

An unanswered prayer

Today, my pastor's daughter was buried. She died of heart failure following 10 surgeries. She was on 24-hr dialysis for months. Many of her organs were shutting down. She was only 3 months old.

People around the world have been praying for her during her entire life. And when I say around the world... my pastor has served at churches in the US, Canada, Australia, and now here in Korea. Literally thousands of people. They prayed for her healing, her life...

Now, what happens to their faith? I sat in a crowd of 500 people as we poured out prayers for her. As her father poured out his heart before us. You could feel it: she might live! She must live! She will live! We knew it, we prayed it, we felt it, we believed it.

But now, she's buried. She didn't live.

This doesn't make me doubt my own faith. And honestly, I suspect my pastor's faith will be worked out with God, in time. But what happens to the new Christian who sat in the church, feeling that she must live? The person who saw it all, but was not a part of it? The person who just sees one more unanswered prayer?

I'm not sure. I'm not sure why God answers some prayer and not others. I'm not sure why he didn't give us a miracle. I'm not sure why he didn't proclaim his glory in a way that we can easily understand. It seems that God missed the chance to make his glory known.

I am sure of this: "Even after Jesus had done all these miraculous signs in their presence, they still would not believe in him." (Jn 12:37)

So all I can know is, that God is still God. He's God even though a baby died. He's God even though we doubt him. He's God even in the midst of parents' pain. He's God even to the uncertain faith. He is still God.

So God, take this child into your arms and thank you that she is free of pain. Now give those of us left behind the grace to mourn, to question, and to live.

Tonight's prayer: John Donne's Cry

Holy Sonnet 14

By John Donne

Batter my heart, three-personed God, for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise, and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn, and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end.
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captived, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy:
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

Spontaneous decisions

Tonight I announced a decision, which I only decided as I was speaking it. I've made a commitment that I wasn't expecting. I'd thought about it, then intentionally decided not to make that commitment for a while. Then I proceeded to commit to it.

I'd love to say that the Spirit moved me. Maybe he did, but I sure wasn't aware of it. In fact, I opened my mouth to say one thing and another came out. I guess that means it was the Spirit... or a terrible mistake.

So now, the only thing left, is to pray it was the right thing. To pray for guidance as I follow through on it. To pray for God's blessing, wisdom, and work through it all. To pray for strength to accomplish it. And to sit back and see what God's got in store.

So, I guess I'll be leading a small group for my church now.

Movie: Avatar

Saw Avatar spontaneously tonight. Kept wondering what I'd write about it...

Sure, it was full of pantheism or panentheism, with the whole planet connected via a "network". And there was a definite underlying dualism (the idea that the conscious can be transferred from one body to another). Actually, the dualism bothered me more - because it has become such an accepted fact that our "spirit" or "soul" is completely disconnected from our bodies. The main character wants to dispose of his original, "broken" body and take over a second, healthy one.

But the thing I found most disturbing... was the cultural question. We've got "natives" who are referred to as savages, whose culture is completely disregarded. Then this guy Jake comes along, falls in love, learns a little of the culture. So far, I'm with it. Not a fan, but okay.

So why does this Jake need to be the one who leads them in war? How is it he figures out how to do what only 5 Na'vi before have ever done, tame a toruk? On the one hand, I applaud his attempt to gain their respect in a way acceptable to their culture. But seriously? He tames an animal and suddenly they'll all follow him to war and death?

Why is it some other race needs one of us to ride in to the rescue? White man to the rescue...

Let me put this in another tone: Yes, I applaud the attempt to appreciate and value diverse cultures. However, ultimately, it's still a white-American-male perspective, dripping of condescension and ethnocentricism.

On another note - I thoroughly enjoyed it. Plot was a bit predictable, but the story-telling & special effects were great. Definitely worth seeing in the theater.

A little advice from the outside

"Data crowds out faith . . . Relying too much on proof distracts you from the real mission--which is emotional connection."

I'm currently reading a book for small group leaders (which I'll be reviewing shortly). One of the most important things I want to tell small group leaders is precisely that: data crowds out faith. People don't need more history  or diverse interpretations.

But this quote doesn't come from a small group leader's guide. It comes from Seth Godin.

Seth Godin is a marketer. As far as I know, he's not a Christian. He sells things, but he does it by knowing what people really want. And he's usually right. People don't want evidence, proof, or data. They want connection, grace, acceptance, and truth.

So the question is, who's going to give them that emotional connection? Seth Godin? or the Church?

The Value of Time

I have a pet peeve: small groups & other church meetings that regularly go over schedule. I can be flexible; if there's a good discussion / prayer going on, by all means, let's finish it. But EVERY week? I don't think so. Here's why:

Who's responsible? That's easy: the leader. I'm sorry leaders, but yes, it's all you. You may think people don't want to end, but I promise - they do. If they really don't, they can stay after and keep going. People are being polite by not walking out. The prayer meeting was scheduled to end at 9 pm. By 9:15, everyone's feeling it. No one will be upset with you for ending on time.

Why don't leaders end? Well, a few reasons come to mind.

1. They don't know how. I think this is the most common reason. They aren't able to steer the conversation / prayer to a close.


2. They don't have the courage to do so. They may be aware that its time to end, but timid to actually do so. This may include fears that the group wants to keep going, or that they will be seen as "bossy".


3. They are completely unaware of the time themselves. Some people simply don't notice the time. They may need a "timekeeper" in the group - someone to send a pre-arrange signal, including just saying point-blank that there's only ten minutes left.


4. They have an unrealistic agenda. No, you're not going to worship, pray, read scripture, and discuss 10 people's weeks in 1 hour. Don't try.


5. They may be talking too much (or allowing others to do so). If they're teaching/preaching, they may need to reduce what they're presenting. If they're guiding a discussion, they may be doing too much teaching (This is a problem I often notice in the Asian / Asian-American setting. With Asian culture saying "listen to an expert" and church culture saying "discuss", the result is a lecture diluted into a discussion.)


6. Here's the big one: They don't want to seem "unspiritual". This actually goes for members too - as a reason they don't leave / insist on ending. See, it's a church meeting, so we're on "God's time". Therefore, anyone stingy enough to leave / end is really just being "selfish". I've seen meetings run hours over schedule for this reason.

So why does this bother me so much? Mainly, it's a matter of respect. People come voluntarily. They are giving up their time to meet, to pray, to study, to worship. Yes, they want to be there. But it's still their time. They're giving it to God (yes, theologically we could argue that all their time comes from God. But if so, I'd point out that they are stewards of their time). The more often the meetings run over time, the more the member knows their time isn't respected, and the more likely that the member will just take to being late to compensate.

Example: It's a lot like a tithe. A person may decide to give the full 10% of their income, just like they decided to give 2 hrs to the prayer meeting. No one would dream of adding digits on their offering check to make it 15%, and yet we rarely hesitate to make a 2 hr meeting run for an extra 30 minutes. Since the person knows the meeting will always run late, they may as well show up late too.

It's a matter of faithfulness. The leader has been unfaithful to the promise they gave. Conversely, it's also a matter of trust. If the church bulletin said we'd finish by 11:30 am, but we're not done at noon, how can the member trust that bulletin? Or worse, the leader responsible? As the schedule is not followed, how can the member know that other things said by the leader / church are reliable?

I'm definitely not picking on anyone in particular - I've seen this at every church I've been to. As I said at the beginning, I'm most concerned with the regularity with which it happens. Please, please, leaders, end meetings on time!

The Value of Bad Theology

A few days ago, I was talking to a friend about his experience starting seminary this year. He's been a worship leader for quite a while now, and commented on how seminary is changing his perception of worship songs.

I knew precisely what he was talking about. Seminary teaches you to think more critically about your faith, the church, Scripture, God, and especially what we teach about God and our relationship to him. It's a good thing - it's precisely the way church leaders need to start thinking about things.

Then, if you start looking at the songs we see in church, there seems to be a lot lacking. Some songs focus too much on the individual worshiper, while others seem to imply that God needs us / we're helping him. My friend noted one thing that bothered him that a worship leader said:

"Alright, everyone! Let's worship! You know, God said that where two or three are gathered, there he is with us. Here we are, we're gathered, so God is here with us!"

Why would this bother my friend? Simple, the verse is talking about discipline within the church, not worship or prayer as is often mis-quoted. If you want to understand this better, check out an old blog I found. I don't know the writer, but I know he's dead on with this post about Matt. 18:20.

As my friend and I lamented the proliferation of bad theology, we suddenly commented simultaneous: But we've done it in the past. We've been the people who say those things and, honestly, we'll probably do it again. And again.

In the end, we're never going to get it completely right. And even those things we know, we'll sometimes get those wrong too. So we need to have grace for others, while not lessening the value of seeking the truth.

Finally, my professor, Dr. Marianne Meye Thompson, who has an amazing way of encapsulating the truth, reminded us, "People are saved by bad theology every day." She also reminded us we were all heretics, but I'll save that for another day.

We all pray to an idol...

. . . unless God accept our misguided prayers.

Footnote to All Prayers

By C.S. Lewis

He whom I bow to only knows to whom I bow
When I attempt the ineffable Name, murmuring Thou,
And dream of Pheidian fancies and embrace in heart
Symbols (I know) which cannot be the thing Thou art.
Thus always, taken at their word, all prayers blaspheme
Worshipping with frail images a folk-lore dream,
And all men in their praying, self-deceived, address
The coinage of their own unquiet thoughts, unless
Thou in magnetic mercy to Thyself divert
Our arrows, aimed unskilfully, beyond desert;
And all men are idolators, crying unheard
To a deaf idol, if Thou take them at their word.

Take not, O Lord, our literal sense.  Lord, in thy great
Unbroken speech our limping metaphor translate.

I want to wash the dishes!

Getting busy lately, I hear certain words pounding in my head: "I should". I should wash the dishes. I should walk the dog. I should study Korean. I should get some sleep. I don't know where this voice is coming from, but it's loud and clear. It's the voice trying to rule my life that I don't want to listen to. I've determined one thing: it's not God!

How do I know this? Simple - it makes me feel guilty, ashamed, lazy, and most especially - it makes me not want to do the very thing it's suggesting!

That "should" is really all about obligation. I have to do something, I'm supposed to, I must... for someone else or simply for the abstract "right thing to do". There's a teeter-totter in my head. As soon as that weighty word "should" jumps in on one side, interest and desire, which weren't very heavy in the first place, go flying off the other.

So what's a busy person to do? Ask for strength to do all the shoulds? Not do them and feel guilty?

I've learned a better solution. It's all a matter of vocabulary! Change "should" to "want to". As soon as I think I "should" do something, before all the weariness kicks in, I rephrase it in my mind to I "want to" do it. I want to wash the dishes. I want to walk the dog. I want to study Korean.

See, because the truth is, ultimately I really do want these things. I don't "feel" like getting started, but I definitely want them done. Washing the dishes is often a great time for some quiet thoughts and when it's time to cook, I'll be glad for the clean kitchen. Walking the dog gets me out of the house and into the fresh air. Studying Korean helps me deal with daily life.

Amazingly, just changing that word will often motivate me. It reminds me of the reasons I "should", reminds me that these are ultimately my free choice. So, next time you think you "should" do something and try to drag yourself toward it, just re-phrase that thought to "I want to!"

Praying before you act

I made a mistake recently. It wasn't really a big deal in one sense; it was simply a misunderstanding. But in another sense, I hurt someone who's already in pain, someone I don't know well but do respect greatly.

I can't help wondering why I didn't stop to pray about it. Just a moment, that's all it would have taken, to slow down and pray abut my actions. I should have asked God if it was alright, asked him whether I ought to, and then, if I decided to do it, asked him to bless it and make me a source of help and encouragement to others.

But I didn't do that. I heard an idea, I asked a friend if it was really a good idea, and then I easily accepted his response. So I did it. And I've been regretting it every moment since.

The next day, feeling mortified at what I finally realized I shouldn't have done, I decided to write a letter of apology. I was ready to send it off. But I didn't. This time I paused and prayed whether I should or not. On the one hand, I do feel I need to apologize. On the other, I don't know the person well and I don't want to add to their current pain by making a big deal out of something.

The result is: I'm still holding on to the letter, waiting for the right time to send it. I have a feeling it might be a bit of a wait. Yes, I need to apologize. But more than that, I need to be sensitive to their pain and God's timing. He'll know when they'll best need it.

So the question I keep turning over is this: what happens if we pray before we act? Human wisdom and sensitivity can only go so far - only God knows when that other person needs to / wants to talk with you. A good example is evangelism. I think sometimes we get so excited about telling people about Christ, that we forget to pray and ask God how much they're ready to hear. If we started praying before we act, I think we'd find God often restraining our intentions, and just as often motivating us to do what we never intended.

Manifest Presence

At a prayer meeting tonight, the preacher told everyone to ask for God's "manifest presence". He defined this as charismatic outpourings, basically, and cited David, Daniel, and Acts for evidence. He then told us to pray for it to happen then and there.

Now, I have no real problem with his theology. I tend to have a more quiet approach, but can sit quietly in my own intimate space with God while others are yelling, speaking in tongues, or falling down around me. Occasionally I'll join in, but even then, with more reservation than most.

However, at the end of the night, my friend said she has often prayed to experience God in real, physical ways, but that he mostly speaks to her through others. She seemed saddened, like she was missing out on some grand Christian experience. Now, there are those that would agree with her, but I'm not one.

The fact is, real faith runs deeper than crying when you pray. Really experiencing God has more to do with obedience, action, and daily choices than it does with emotions or supernatural manifestations. I'm not saying there's no place for these things, just that when we speak too highly or too frequently of them, we lose our perspective. My concerns are twofold:

First, people (often pastors) telling people to ask for it, to seek it, to desire it, and to intercede for it. It's not that that's wrong; in some cases that's exactly what's needed. What concerns me is how often I hear people like my friend, talking about wanting to "experience" God, feeling left out of the "in crowd". Which leads me to my second point.

Second, it's too rare that we teach these things. We tell people to want them, to look for them, but not what they need to do. Of course, it all comes from God (when it's real). But I suspect one reason people don't hear an audible voice is because they don't know what it sounds like. They ask to hear a voice, but when there's no earth-shaking deep voice speaking a word of profound wisdom, they give up.

Sure, God can and will do anything. I've seen it. I've experienced it. But mostly, those manifestations of God's presence have nothing to do with daily life or with someone's spiritual condition. In fact, I rather suspect that having those experiences too often are a sign of immaturity. God tends to pour out those manifestations as evidence of power, tests of trust, etc.

By all means, pray for them. If you really feel the need, search out someone who can teach you more deeply about them. But remember, all these things will pass away.

Discovering George MacDonald

A friend recently suggested I read George MacDonald. Now, since this is a friend I deeply respect and readily listen to, I picked up a used copy of one of his books. Apparently, C.S.Lewis, the modern St. Paul to Evangelicals, said of MacDonald, "I never wrote a book in which I did not quote George MacDonald." That's pretty high praise for a well-established professor and writer.

So, I read. Take Middle Earth and plop it down amidst the common setting of Scotland. Read of rough fishermen with coarse language rather than elves swift or Narnian fauns. See the broad sweep of history condensed to one moment in a simple life. See the divine in the mundane.

Everything that makes a story great weaves through his novels with the ease of a practiced hand.

This reminds me that I owe a bright new thread in my literary pursuits to the recommendation of a friend. Indeed, she has never steered me wrong in her recommendations, giving generally better suggestions than most people I know. Of course, that's true not only of books, but of life.

The people that know what books we would enjoy also know how to speak to our souls in other ways.

Elusive Prayer Time

I intend to pray. I've even got a "prayer rug" since there are no comfortable seats in my apartment. I've got a list of things to prayer for: people, places, events, and organizations. I've even got a list of my own things to pray for: life, work, church, relationships. And there's the books. I've got a slew of books telling me to pray, how to pray, why I should pray, how other people have prayed....

I'm ready to pray. And yet... the dog needs to be fed. And walked. The dishes are calling out for a little soap and water, while a distinctive odor suggests I should take out the trash. Then there's groceries to buy, phone calls to make, and, well, it's bed time now. So, I'll pray in the morning. At least, that's the plan until I oversleep and get to work late.

Don't we all have times like that? It sure happens to me far more often that I care to admit. I find the days passing without really praying. Oh, there's the occasional whisper in God's direction, but mostly I'm just living life moment to moment.

Then there's that one sweet hour, where the snow falls or the sun shines and all of life just seems to pause. God's presence is so palpable that you're forced to pause in prayer. Those are the moments that remind me why I pray and what I'm missing.

The snow fell here in Seoul, the biggest snowfall in 103 yrs. For me, it was pure prayer walking to and from work each day. I trudge through slush, praying I don't fall. Then I look up and have to pause. Suddenly, all the gratitude and praise rise to my lips.

The challenge, for me, is to go home that night and say those words to God aloud. To thank and praise him. To tell him what a beautiful world it is and how very much I enjoy it. Then, somehow, prayer isn't a burden, but an overflowing of a fulfilled heart.

Verse for the Week

1 John 3:2

"Beloved, we are God's children now; what we will be has not yet been revealed..."

Today, while in prayer, I asked God for a verse. I was looking for direction on a choice I need to make, and this is what he gave me.

First, it's a clear that God's not ready to give me a clear answer.

Second, (actually, this should be first, but I noticed it second). Second, it's a reminder that I am simply God's child in whom he delights and nothing I do (or choose) changes that.

Point is - I am God's child. And it's not time for an answer to my question just yet. That's good enough for me.

Working the System

I read this article on people racking up frequent flyer miles for free. Basically, they used their credit cards to purchase $1 coins from the US mint, which ships them for free. They then deposit the coins in the bank and use the money to pay the credit card bill. People were buying more than $10k at a time. Result: Just for the effort of placing the order & depositing the coins in the bank, they were getting thousands of free mileage points.

Aren't we all looking for ways to work the system? And I'm sure many of us would say it was wrong. It's just following the letter of the law, not the spirit of it. Or, well, it feels wrong...but then again, don't we try to find our own advantages?

I think the question shouldn't be whether it's "right" or "wrong", because these terms are entirely subjective constructs. One person may say white lies are right, but another, wrong. That's all about how we're trained and how we view the world. So, perhaps a better question is "How is it impacting others? Who's benefiting? Who's losing out?" I certainly don't mean this in relation to legality. If it's illegal, that's pretty much it. But what if it's not illegal? It might be out of the scope of laws, or a loophole, such as these people found. That's the point I'd say we should look at the impact of our actions.

So then, what impact did this have on others? Well, mainly, they were getting points they could use for things like free flights and upgrades. Who's that impacting? Definitely the airlines. Sure, we think that a big corporation could probably afford that one or two free flights. But then again, couldn't stores afford to lose those one or two items that weren't paid for?

I've realized that in our age of big business, it gets hard to see how our actions are affecting others. No longer does stealing some candy from the corner store feel like robbing our uncle. It's not even the same as stealing a few apples from the richest man's yard. It's just taking some intangible number, called points, from a faceless mob of a corporation.

Claiming Prophecy Fulfillment can be Dangerous

Actually, this post should be entitled "The Dangers of Claiming a Prophecy Fulfilled". . .

At a friend's suggestion, I began reading Goll's The Prophetic Intercessor. Immediately, I sensed he and I would disagree theologically. But that's hardly a reason not to read his book. I tried to keep an open mind and found his analysis of prayer and prophetic gifting to be fairly accurate.

Then I came to one chapter that described, in-depth, what he thought to be the major prophetic fulfillment in our age. I was curious, what would he use as his primary example of prophetic fulfillment? As he looked around today, what would he claim as God's powerful work, released through the prayers of centuries of saints?

Modern Israel. He claimed that the creation and sustained presence of Israel signified God's work.

I never claim to be well versed in politics or history. But this is one area I cannot support. Now, I'm not saying God has nothing to do with it. In fact, I'm not even going to say it wasn't prophesied in scripture. But I am certain that there are elements of the current situation in Israel that break God's heart.

So, the moment I began that chapter, I knew I couldn't finish it. I read a few pages, but ultimately gave up. I even put down the book and expected not to pick it up again.

However, I reflected on what he'd said before that. I reflected on the fact that he definitely had some accurate and insightful things to say. So I picked the book up and continued, skipping the chapter. I'm definitely glad I did, for I found much to respect between those pages.

My warning for all of us here:  The moment you claim something fulfills scripture, you risk alienating many of the people you speak to. Does that mean you never do it? No, I don't think it does. It just means you take care. Remember that not everyone agrees with you and be certain its worth the risk. Then, when you're sure you know what you're doing, then you can publish / announce it.

I think that goes for much of what we say and do in life. If you're a huge fan of the Dodgers, don't assume that everyone who lives in LA is also. Perhaps that new co-worker just moved to LA and they have always been avid supporters of the SF Giants. Whether it's a baseball game or a prophecy, we alienate people by assuming they agree with us.

On the other hand, I think we all need to be a little less sensitive. So someone assumed something about you, correct them. Tell them what you really think and let it go.